Ahoy, me hearties!

Pirate deck at Club Earl

Pirate deck at Club Earl (Photo credit: Earl – What I Saw 2.0)

There has been a bit of an interlude in my posts for the last week or so. Something huge happened to me in the domestic sense – ie I bought a new vacuum cleaner. This had a completely unforeseen consequence, in that I was immediately seized with a desire to clean. (Most unusual for me – I can almost always find something more interesting to do than housework). However, the upshot is that in the last six days I have cleaned and rearranged the kitchen, bedroom, and studio, including taking everything out, sorting, rearranging and reinstalling. Believe me when I say I am totally exhausted – and expecting to get a letter from Buck House any moment, asking if I would accept a ‘Damehood’ in light of my services in the Eternal Battle Against Dust.

So what, you ask, does this have to do with the title of this post? Almost nothing, to be honest, but the general overhaul proved incredibly well timed in that it is Pirates Day here in Hastings this Sunday 21 July. And whilst I was cleaning I uncovered under a pile of old tat and dust fortuitously located the pirate costumes from last year. Very handy – will save me having to buy new ones, which as you can imagine, are now to be had only at a premium price here in Hastings, the Pirate Capital of the World. Last year we broke the record for the most pirates in one place at one time – 14,231, to be precise – and the town was absolutely heaving with Jack Sparrows and PegLegs and Captain Hooks. This time we have a skyfall by pirates on to the beach – I seriously can’t wait!

Pirates in Hastings who helped smash the world record

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6 Responses to Ahoy, me hearties!

  1. Hm. Step one: buy hoover. Spep two: go into overkill and transform into Martha Stewart. Step three: dress up as Pirate and run along beach. I’m worried about you. What’s step four? Moral of the story: hoovers are bad for you.

    • painterswife says:

      Hehe! I don’t mind most of the steps but I don’t want to go back to the Martha Stewart transformation – it’s far too tiring! Life, as they say, is too short to stuff a mushroom!

  2. PS MacMurray says:

    Ha! The spontaneous cleaning frenzy. Some folks would rather walk the plank than battle the dust. See, your title was related to the task at hand after all! We have our own pirate here, in Vermont. In fact, he lives in my town. His name is Rockin’ Ron the Friendly Pirate. Kids love him. I must share this post with him at once. Happy Pirates Day. Hope you share many photos.

  3. I am now really worried. Is Hastings ready for mad pirate woman brandishing hoovers at unsupse ting passers by and threathening them with the plank if a stray greasy fingerprint lands on the newly polished piano…? Though I’m prolly not one to talk – I once got a Dyson and was *mesmerised* by the layers of dust and fluff and cathair and wotnot that spiralled into soft layers of cloudlike formation – ooooooooooooh…… Pret-ty……. Note to self: Get out more.

    • painterswife says:

      LOL! The Dyson died – after many years of loyal service, I have to say – but it was so heavy – it used to wear me out just hauling it out of its corner, never mind actually using it to clean anything. The new one still provides the pretty cloud effect though – and the whole flat is still worryingly pristine – which is confusing the hell out of my friends as they are used to me being rather more slovenly in my cleaning habits.

      Pirate Day is now over and done with – although now (11.45 pm) I can still hear the odd stray drunken pirate wandering down the High Street outside. It was great fun but am completely shattered and the Painter (who was dressed up as the ship’s surgeon in extremely gory fashion) seems to have retired early with a touch of heat stroke. These boys just can’t hack it, can they?

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