I haven’t posted for ages, so it seems. But if it’s any comfort, it’s not just that I haven’t posted here, I haven’t done much on Facebook except for repost other people’s pictures, and I have hardly seen any friends or relations except for one wonderful evening out – more about that later.
In fact, it’s probably just a couple of months since my last post which was about the fire and my broken foot. Sadly, this post is probably not going to be any more chirpy. During the course of investigating the mysteriously broken bone, osteoporosis was flagged up and in the course of investigating that, Graves’ Disease (a form of hyperthyroidism) was diagnosed. All in all, it’s been a busy few weeks, with me averaging hospital trips at two a week. I still have the velcro boot, although I am now allowed to take it off when inside and on a flat surface (but as I live in a very old building none of the surfaces are actually all that flat).
Graves Disease is another thing altogether. I have been feeling like death warmed up for the last six to eight months, but trying to carry on regardless. In all honesty, I put most of the symptoms down to the menopause (headaches, tiredness, bad memory, muscle pain, inability to sleep, emotional see-sawing, etc). To have a diagnosis is both a relief and a further worry at the same time. Now that I know why I feel like crap I almost don’t mind. However, the problems associated with Graves’ are so unpleasant in themselves (and specifically affect the only two things I have ever been squeamish about – eyes and nails), that I am having difficulty adjusting to the idea. I also have large amounts of medication which although it is no doubt doing its’ job trying to stabilize the chemical imbalance my body is going through, it is going to take weeks to get the dosage right and to make me feel better.
Usually there is a ‘bright’ side with Graves, in that it causes rapid weight loss (Yay! I was really quite excited when I heard that). However, I seem to be one of the rare 10% of victims (I hate the word ‘sufferer’ – too martyr’d for me, plus I feel more like a victim in this scenario anyway), whose ‘healthy appetite outweighs the effects of my racing metabolism’. Can you believe it? There is no justice. Graves’ makes you hungry ALL THE TIME – five minutes after I dinner I want to eat again, so it’s a triumph of self-control that I’m not already twice the size I should be…
For the last few days I have been barely able to summon up the energy to stand, let alone do anything useful. I’m compensating by making plans in my head, but that is really not much good when your memory is behaving like a colander – the plans or designs I make in the morning have gone by the evening. Notes help, but my hands are shaking.
Today, however, I feel a little bit better. Fewer scary dreams last night (a by-product of the drugs), and I have actually started work on a quilt, so the day doesn’t seem such a waste. Plus, writing and posting this will make me feel like I’ve ticked another thing off my list.
Earlier I mentioned the one evening out with friends – it was Hastings very first Diner en Blanc – we had a communal picnic in the local park. We all brought our own food, tables, chairs, candles, and wine, and we all dressed in white. It made for a beautiful summer’s evening and a very memorable one!